I fumbled into a body breakdown this week. Exhaustion tackled me like a pro linebacker and laid me flat on my back, and it gave me brief moment to consider the why.
Currently, I am in graduate school, but I’m also working full time as a specialist, and also doing an administrative internship, and also working as a business owner, and also serving as a mom, and wife, and…and…and. Top it all off with some liver complications, and it makes for one tired sister.
This moment of exhausted pause helped me to see that there are a lot of people who rely on me that all have needs, and to them, every last one of those needs are an emergency.
I pondered for a moment and calculated just some of the cost of everyone’s demands.
- needs me before work, during work and after work
- needs me at the last minute to do “right now things” which causes me to move current “right now things” to “later things” that by the nature of the delay, will eventually force them to become “last minute urgent things”
- needs resources, advice, guides and guidance, and for me to answer 1,000 texts and emails a day
- Need breakfast and packed lunches and homemade dinners
- Need washed clothes and a clean house
- Need help with homework and schoolwork
- Need to go here and there
- And money…things that cost money…lots of things that cost money.
My Grad School:
- Needs proof that I am actually working on my internship
- and discussion boards
- and Zooms
- and detailed PPTs that analyze data and solves problems.
- Needs help finding keys, and phones, and whatever else he misplaces that somehow always seem to be right where I told him to look but doesn’t magically appear until I walk into the room.
- Needs a wife that’s at least half-decent to look at
- Needs food and loving and support with all that he has going on too.
Then there’s always the random calls from others asking, “Can you do this or that?”
I realize that I am giver, and one thing about takers is they will never mind taking as long as I am giving.
My body did me a favor by shutting down. It said, “Nope. No more. I have nothing left to give. I need rest.”
That rest made me stop and ask myself, “Girl, what do YOU need?” So, I took time to write it out.
- I need help with the laundry and cleaning the house.
- I need spa days and self-care.
- I need frequent mini-trips where I don’t have to be mom, or wife, or employee.
- I need to breathe to let go of what I can’t control.
- I need to meditate.
- I need to teach others how to be more self-sufficient.
- I need a work-life balance.
- I need to learn to say no without any explanation or guilt.
If you are a giver, like me, I pray that you have time to reflect before you crash. Trust me. It ain’t pleasant.
Therefore, I wish you all love, peace, prosperity, and, of course, a full-length mirror and the courage to stand in front of it and ask yourself, “Girl, What do YOU need?” Now, try giving yourself just that.